


Be my friend, hold me, wrap me up

by Pickl3lily



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec is still gay, Brotp, Clalec BroTP - Freeform, Comforting, Friendship only, Gen, Platonic Bedsharing, Post 2x08, References to Canon, References to attempted suicide, Tears, This 100percent a friendship, but he is NOT straight, forehead kiss, not really a big deal in this, too many tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 08:57:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9878156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pickl3lily/pseuds/Pickl3lily
Summary: Clary and Alec talk after the events of 2x08, more in depth and Alec kind of has to wonder when the idea of Clary being his friend stopped being so ridiculous.THIS IS 100% FRIENDSHIP/BROTP ONLY. IF YOU WANT ROMANTIC CLALEC YOU WILL BE DISAPPOINTED.





	

Alec rolled over in his bed, sheets wrapping awkwardly around his ankles as he huffed an irritated sigh. He’d woken up thirty minutes ago, heart racing and certain he’d heard a noise but had quickly remembered the nightmare. Memories of Jocelyn, the demon, the party and the balcony swirling together with the harsh words from the hallucinated Clary as the soundtrack, stringing it all together. He rolled again, huffing another sigh before kicking off his blankets, deciding to go and make a hot drink to hopefully make him tired enough to get some more sleep – the team was supposed to assemble the next day to discuss Valentine and the soul-sword and he knew he’d be useless if he was over-tired.

He was mentally debating between chamomile tea and warm milk when his bare foot pressed down on something that felt oddly like a hand with a shrill shriek accompanying the sensation, causing him to jump backwards towards his bed, grabbing blindly for the dagger under his pillow when –

“Jesus Alec! What the hell?” Alec paused, stance wide, arm outstretched towards the bed and hand, still empty, just shy of his pillow halted uselessly in mid-air. “Clary?” Alec hissed, confusion flooding his features and his mind as he realised that the red-head, who was now sat upright, hand clutched to her chest, had been sleeping at the foot of his bed. “Well, yeah!” Alec’s expression changed from confusion to the usual Clary-induced annoyance at her tone and he felt tension seep out of his body, even as he pulled himself to attention. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Clary huffed, as if she found the question stupid which caused Alec to roll his eyes in annoyance. “Well, I _was_ sleeping until _someone_ decided to vindictively assault my poor, innocent hand.” Alec scoffed, despite himself before sitting warily on his mattress and taking a deep breath to reign in the guilt that was starting to bubble up at her words. Then he started to think about her form on his floor, red hair splayed out around her, like her mother’s when he had –

“Don’t.” Clary’s voice caused his head to jolt up from where it had fallen, chin buried in his chest, until he was looking at her, eyes boring into one another’s. She was on her knees now, hands hovering above his lap before decisively grabbing his hands where they were clenched on his knees. “I told you after the ceremony. I. Don’t. Blame. You. I know you don’t believe that and honestly, I’m not sure if you ever will. I can’t imagine what it’s like for you because I lost my Mom and that hurts like hell. It’s like I had a hole punched in _my_ chest and it can never be filled but,” here she broke off, eyes searching his, “You were violated. Your body was controlled and manipulated and... I know it wasn’t you. You and I may not really get on, but I care about you Alec and I think in some, reluctant way you feel the same. You helped me get her back, you wouldn’t take her away.”

A solitary tear fell from Alec’s eye, and he felt anger at himself for being sad, for crying like he had any right when he was making Clary comfort him in the wake of her Mother’s death. Her _murder_ that Alec had committed. He felt a small hand on his jaw, cupping it as nimble fingers brushed the tear from his cheek. Opening his eyes, he wondered when he had closed them, and saw Clary, tears flowing freely down her face, a weak smile on her lips. “I cry about it Alec and I miss her, but I got my vengeance. I got it when I killed that demon. The demon that killed her, because that _wasn’t_ _you_. If I blamed you, don’t you think I’d let you know. I haven’t exactly kept my mouth shut since I’ve arrived have I?”

Unbidden, Alec chuckled lightly, feeling more tears work their way down his cheeks, some dripping over Clary’s hand, still on his face, keeping his eyes locked on hers. “There he is.” Clary stood, dragging her hand from his face and wiping it on his t-shirt, making him laugh again. She smiled and slowly moved to sit beside him on the bed, as if she were giving him the choice to refuse her. “Alec. I’ll make you a deal – you and I, we’re going to have each other’s backs and I don’t mean that you get all over-protective big brother like when we went to visit Iris –“

“In my defense, she did turn out to be kind of a –“ He cut himself off at the glare she levelled him with and allowed her to continue. “Right, so we have each other’s back and deal with it. That’s what you’re giving me – that and training because I still need to improve. In return – I’m here. I’ll always be here.” She smiled unsurely and Alec didn’t know what to make of it.

“Why? I don’t just mean the deal – which doesn’t really seem all that beneficial to you, by the way. Why are you here? Why were you on my floor? Just _why_ , Clary?” His voice broke on his final beseeching ‘why’ and Clary’s face looked suddenly so pitying it caused a brief flare of anger amidst his overwhelming sorrow. Her hand was back on his face, his hairline this time, brushing away the slightly longer strands the way Izzy sometimes did when she could sense he was less happy than usual. “Because, you and I are friends, Alec Lightwood, whether you like it or not. After what happened at the party, I kind of needed to make sure you were okay.” Her hand retreated and she looked oddly embarrassed. “When you – when you... _fell_ ”, her eyes darting frantically away from him at the wording, making him shift uncomfortably next to her, “I knew it was because of me. Because you thought I blamed you and I know this probably sounds selfish but all I could think was that it was my fault. That I drove you to it and though I know it’s not the same, I imagine it’s similar to how you’ve been feeling since my Mom.”

She cleared her throat, and resolutely made eye contact once again. “I need to know you’re okay Alec. I needed to see it for myself, I couldn’t sleep until I did and then I saw you and you looked so sad that I worried about… I just worried and I couldn’t leave. I just needed to know you were okay the same way I needed to know Simon was okay that time we were twelve and his tortoise died. I snuck into his room for a week and slept at the bottom of his bed to make sure he was okay.” She shrugged, “I just need to know my friends are okay. You’re kind of all I have right now – you guys have become my family.”

Alec, for the first time, had a complete absence of annoyance in the presence of Clary. It was a notable moment that in the moment she declared them family, he knew that she was right. He didn’t love her the way he did Jace and Izzy and Max, but they had only known one another for a short amount of time and he was already thinking of her as another irresponsible sibling. Someone to protect and admonish and get irritated at. He didn’t love her like a sister yet, but he knew that one day he would and he smiled.

The guilt wasn’t magically gone, he still felt the turmoil churning his gut, but in that moment, it seemed almost ignorable. He leant forwards and place a small, chaste kiss against her hairline and pulled back to see an expression of… something. He couldn’t read it, but the smile on her lips told him that the freshly-watering eyes shouldn’t be too much of a concern. Exhaustion began to creep across his mind, causing his eyes to feel like they were undergoing a herculean challenge by remaining open. He took a deep breath, before shoving lightly at her shoulder, taking her by surprise and causing her to fall back onto the mattress with a light “oof”. “Well if you’re staying, move over. This is my side and I would actually like to get some sleep some time tonight.” Clary huffed, but scuttled her way back and across the bed, leaning awkwardly against the pillow. As he settled in beside her, drawing up the sheets from the end of the bed, Clary asked “Wait – didn’t you get up for something?” and Alec, turned, head on his pillow and seeing her mirroring position, he smiled. “It’s not important now.” She returned the smile, beaming at him even as her eyes fluttered in a similar way to how his sister’s had done since childhood that told him she was about to crash. Eyes closed, he shifted so he was smiling lightly at the ceiling, when he felt Clary’s hand find his own, quickly squeezing before retreating again. Mentally, he thanked the Angel that she hadn’t tried to actually hold it – they may be hesitant friends and they may have just had a surprisingly emotional conversation that probably would never had happened if they weren’t both so exhausted, but he still had boundaries. Hand-holding would definitely cross the line.

 _Still,_ he thought, as he drifted from consciousness, _at least now I have a friend in Clary Fray._

Oddly, the thought was a comforting one.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I don't know if anyone is going to even like this but I really needed to get this out there. I love the idea of a Clalec Bromance occurring because I feel the level of sass from the friendship would probably rival Magnus'. Or not, because that guy is hella sassy, but whatever. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this and feel free to leave a comment. 
> 
> The forehead kiss and platonic bedsharing and the way they interact is. by the way, how my best friend and I first interacted after we stopped hating each other. When we met, our relationship was a lot like Clary and Alec's but we evolved slowly into the amazing bond we have now and he felt comfortable enough with me to make me the first person he came out to, even though, like Alec, it was clear to everyone around him. Who knows, maybe Alec and Clary will one day evolve into having the amazing friendship I have now with my best friend.
> 
> That being said, I am not included the latest development of Climon because, although I don't actively NOT ship them, I don't really ship them either and I felt a little uncomfortable with the new dynamic, but hey! NO hate and I'm happy that the Climon shippers are getting their time.


End file.
